Convergence

Sometimes, true devastation is the only soil strong enough to hold the roots of a profound awakening. Stripped of all romantic illusions and plunged into emotional numbness, an unexpected anchor presents itself in the form of a heavy, annotated book purchased on a whim.

After a few days of total emotional numbness, gravity finally returned. In complete contrast to the days prior, everything sank heavily into my mind. I could not stop myself from crying. My head felt like it was going to explode as the agonizing memories of my experience with John kept looping back to me. Every effort, every financial and emotional investment I had made, had culminated in a deeply tragic, degrading ending.

I tried to share my feelings with my friends on the phone, but to my dismay, it didn't bring any relief. Even my attempts at praying seemed entirely ineffective; the moment I closed my eyes, I would find myself drowning anew in the memories of the careless, cruel conversations with the people instrumental to my pain.

Desperate for an escape from my own mind, I remembered a heavy book I had purchased earlier during a trip to Manila. I had been browsing a small bookstore near the exit of a department store. A particular hardbound book with striking colors sitting atop a discount tray had caught my attention. Written across its cover in large white letters was the word DAKE 💡The Dake Annotated Reference Bible is known for its extensive side-margin notes showing cross-references and historical context..

Because I never had my own Bible before, and worried that God might be offended if I ignored it while willingly buying much more expensive things, I took it to the register and paid. From that point on, I had hauled its considerable weight with me whenever I traveled. I decided to turn to it now simply to keep myself busy. The problem was, I had absolutely no idea where or how to begin reading it.

I sought advice from a Filipino entertainer couple working at a hotel nearby in Japan. The wife, whose brother was a Pastor back in the Philippines, gave me his number. He was incredibly accommodating over the phone, listing out specific chapters and verses in the New Testament to read in a specific order so I wouldn’t become confused.

As I excitedly checked the list, my eyes were drawn to tiny letters written on the upper right side of certain words. It was then I realized exactly what the "Dake" Bible was: an annotated version. The margins were filled with cross-references pointing directly back to the original prophecies in the Old Testament, fulfilling events in the life of Jesus, and marking the estimated years each book was written. Fascinated by this ancient historical web, I decided to stop jumping around. I started again from the very beginning: Genesis.

My reading intensified. It felt less like religious study and more like an immersive, captivating historical novel. The scale of God’s work felt so incredibly massive that I began daydreaming about how to share these stories with others—briefly obsessing over an impossible idea to build giant festival floats representing each biblical book.

Not long after, my Japanese cable TV subscription finally came through, giving me access to a Philippine channel. One afternoon while contemplating my grand ideas, the television played an interview with world champion boxer Manny Pacquiao. When asked about his boxing experience, he bluntly stated that his immense strength came from God.

I took it as a sign. Perhaps someone with that level of global fame could fund the biblical festival. Following an incredibly specific emotional urge, I attempted to email the prominent Filipino journalist Howie Severino to ask him to relay a message to Manny Pacquiao. Miraculously, Severino replied to me within hours, but my poor communication skills eventually derailed the exchange.

But it was a different broadcast that truly altered my trajectory. While cleaning the school one morning, I accidentally pressed a button on the remote, switching the channel to a Christian fellowship program called the Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN). I was instantly hooked by the founders, the guest preachers, and the prophetic declarations. I began recording the shows every single day.

In mid-September, one of my adult English students arrived with the wife of her Pastor, who was severely ill in the hospital. Hearing he wanted to meet me to ask for help assisting newly arrived Filipino migrants, we went immediately. He was frighteningly thin and weak. Before we left the hospital room, the two women suddenly requested that I lead a prayer for him.

I had never openly prayed for a stranger. But having watched hours of TBN, I intuitively mimicked what I had seen. I placed my right hand over the dying man's head, said what was in my heart, and specifically asked God to give him enough strength to attend the coming Sunday service.

That Sunday, my student and I attended the service. I watched the door anxiously, but the Pastor was nowhere in sight. The service had barely started when the door suddenly opened. The entire congregation let out a collective gasp of relief.

It was the Pastor, being pulled forward in a wheelchair by his wife. Nobody in that room was happier or more stunned to see him than I was. The service continued as he watched from his chair. When it was my turn to stand up and speak to the congregation, the Pastor suddenly felt ill and had to be rushed back to the hospital. Everyone scrambled to bless him as he passed.

Five days later, he passed away. But he had made it to that final Sunday service, exactly as prayed for.

Despite the immense spiritual weight of those weeks, ordinary life relentlessly continued. My only leisure time was spent visiting the Filipino entertainers in their apartment or at their shows. Early in October, I visited them with a thick bandage wrapped tightly around my right middle finger. They immediately noticed it as I was recording a video of them in their kitchen.

I explained what had happened the day prior. I had been in Mitch’s kitchen preparing to cook a squash. I placed the squash on a chopping board and brought the heavy knife down, but the blade slipped violently off the hard rind and caught my finger instead. The force was so strong it sliced completely through my fingernail. Fortunately, it didn't cause any lasting damage beyond the intense pain and inconvenience. Washing it with tap water before wrapping it in a bandage seemed to be enough to handle it.

Late one October afternoon, I was browsing the TBN website when a video clip caught my eye. It was Pastor Benny Hinn, standing in front of a sprawling, ancient walled city, passionately inviting viewers to travel and visit Israel. The video was shot entirely in Jerusalem.

I froze, staring at the screen.

Until that exact second, I had no conceptual understanding that Jerusalem and Israel — the physical locations of the mythological-sounding stories I had been obsessively reading in my Genesis-to-Revelation study — actually still existed. After thousands of years of violence and empire change, the geography was still there.

I wanted to reach that place by all means. The obsessive thought gripped me completely: How great would it be to stand in the very places where these events happened?

This chapter documents the abrupt, profound pivot from romantic devastation to spiritual obsession. The acquisition of the DAKE study Bible moves from being a decorative burden to a functional survival tool. Most critically, the shocking realization that biblical Israel is an actual, accessible geographic location ignites the "Convergence" — the driving force that will reshape the rest of her life.